Originally published on LinkedIn.com on April 8, 2015

I have learned that happiness comes from within. If you are not feeling happiness on a regular basis, no one can give this emotion to you; it is self-generated. Wealth and material things do not give happiness, only comfort, maybe an initial excitement, but not real happiness. What makes me happy may not make others feel the same way. Thus, being an emotion relative to the individual. Different levels of happiness come to us based on each particular experience, from contentment to exhilaration. At times, we gain happiness by giving happiness. Our perception of happiness is likely due to our character, our personality, our upbringing and finally being surrounded by positive people. Being grateful, makes me happy too. Since childhood I always looked for self-contentment (we are all born with this characteristic). There are many ways to attain the emotion. If we dig deeper, we can assess that when we face pleasant experiences there is a chemical reaction in the brain transmitting information to every single organ in the body, which in turns manifest in a pleasant feeling and provide benefits thereof. But we can agree that the scientific explanation is not the whole truth behind the story. Happiness comes from the inner soul. Those that are usually unhappy are looking outside of themselves to find happiness and if unattainable blame others instead. You can be completely alone and be happy. Of course, feeling loneliness is not the same thing.

No doubt that there are a lot of sad things surrounding us that will affect our emotional state on any given day. Catastrophic events, breakups, divorce, loss of a job, death of loved ones, or evil-intended acts against us or others we care for will shake our emotional stability. These events and the stress it brings will pass leaving a “scar” we call a bad or sad memory, but we cannot allow it to take our lives and mental state hostage. I had a best friend who died tragically. She was mentally tortured by a significant other. I have been hunted with thoughts that I should have done something to prevent it, but I never saw it coming. I thought she was a “strong-will” person like me and that nothing would get to her. I think the motivation to redeem her reputation and memorialize her is important to me and those who truly cared for her. I can only say that our friendship of 20 years was a gift to me and, in my selfish ways, I didn’t want to let go. But truthfully, I need to find a way to recover from such a loss, thinking that she is now with God and no one can hurt her anymore. She is absolutely happier now in her resting place.

Humans are resilient. Happiness and sadness strike a balance to keep us appreciating one from the other. If we allow sadness to consume our entire life, then we waste the gift of life. This gift was given to us as a promise that we would leave this world a bit better, passing our lessons to our children, to help others; to make a difference in those who cross our path in life. I know my friend did all of this and more. Ultimately this life is our “school” to learn important lessons before we go back “home”. Even those that may not like who we are will undoubtedly learn something very important about themselves through us. My advice to you is count your blessings every day and practice “happiness” as much as you can; it will improve your health and mental stability and those around you.

“In memoriam of N.V.M, (09-10-1955 – 08-14-2012)”