POSTED APRIL, 25, 2022
He transformed my life in ways I can never repay. There is a lot of nostalgia. For all the good and the bad that it brought, many lessons that gave me a spiritual growth. A relationship that brought an awakening and a transformation that would have never happened have I not met him. I'm grateful that destiny brought us together. A life rich with experiences as I couldn't ask for less and at the same time gave me the maturity to take responsibility for my own faults. But in all, it made me a very strong-will person, never afraid of failures. Of course, it is a lot easier to be alone. It requires more effort to be with someone. It takes a lot of mental and spiritual strength and valor while at the same time you need to be vulnerable. It is a never ending work towards building a relationship and it takes a lot of energy. Only the brave can cross over the hurdles of a relationship and at the same measure be fragile enough to allow it. The following paragraphs are the eulogy I gave in my husband's funeral service January 2017:
......Synchronicity has to occur for things to play out in a way that have a teachable moment. The best way I can describe the incredible human being he has been in my life, is by telling you how we met. I truly believe that Serendipity had a new path for us. I had broken up with a boyfriend and was afraid of getting into another romantic relationship. Almost to a year after the break-up, one of my best friends at that time insisted I had to go out and have fun. I used to live in the hotel area of San Juan, Puerto Rico, near the airport. I didn’t realize how lucky I was at that time, but the events that followed, changed my life forever. We went to the San Juan Hotel and Casino Resort and played at the slot machines for a bit, but decided to sit near the pool area to talk. My girlfriend kept telling me throughout our conversation that there were some guys looking at our direction. My back was facing them, so I never saw who they were. We were about to leave when my girlfriend said in a rather nervous and excited tone that one of them was walking straight towards us. He tapped my shoulder and asked me if we spoke English. I said “yes” and after he introduced himself, he quickly invited us to his table. They were staying at the hotel. We met his other friends and co-workers. I also met his boss at that time; all came from Massachusetts brought in by Suffolk Construction which had a contract for the renovation of the American Airlines terminals at the main airport. They were there for almost two months and their work was coming to an end in the coming weeks. We chatted until early hours of the morning that day. I decided to give him my work number. He called me that same day in the afternoon to invite me out. Every day we met, he gave me a rose. His gesture made my heart grew fond for him. I had a job interview in NYC and I knew he was leaving that same week. I met him to say good bye and wish him the best of lucks. I gave him a big kiss in the mouth and told him that I had a wonderful time and didn’t want it to be over. I remembered singing a love song to him too. He promised me he would return in three months and he kept his promise. We would be on the phone daily for long hours until our ears could not take it anymore and then I realized that he was my soulmate. I came to visit him twice; the first time on the summer of that year and the second time on November that same year when a hurricane hit the Island and devastated the area where I lived; and in a sense visiting him probably saved my life. My apartment had some damage and there was no water or electricity for a while, the airport was shut down and no way to return home and I had to extend my visit with him. At that precise moment, we decided that I would move back with him to start a new life together. I took a leap of faith on him. I left my job of 5 years with a lawyer, sold all my possessions and left family and friendships and a life I only knew, to an unknown world that became my new life and the only life I knew with him. He welcomed me upon my arrival at the airport with a limousine and a bouquet of flowers. My heart was hooked, and I didn’t want him to leave my side. Not long after this we married on a rainy day in January. The Turcotte Family has been my only family here and his friends are my friends to this day even when I don’t get to see them as much anymore.
We have two wonderful kids. He was a great father to them and we did a lot of things to share joy and love for them. He loved me even after I gain weight and always told me he preferred his "meat away from the bones" to cheer me up. He was a great cook and his Thanksgiving Turkey, chicken cordon blue, spaghetti sauce and spinach pie can never be replicated. We used to get standing ovations whenever we danced together at family gatherings. He always brought me flowers and beautiful gifts no matter which holiday it was. Our life was abundant in memories and I will hold these memories dear to my heart even after I die. He was very thoughtful to me and to his friends. He was always helping the neighbors or his friends and family.
When he got kidney disease I volunteered my kidney and to his surprise I was a match, but I got sick a month before the scheduled transplant and I had to be checked again. The night before the surgery I was called by the doctor to tell me I had two kidney stones and thus no longer a good donor. I was devastated because I wanted to prevent him to go into dialysis. This was a test from heaven for both of us. I cared for him in ways no one could ever imagine. I did everything I could to keep him alive despite the times he did not want to live anymore exhausted and sick from the treatments. I kept reminding him that his kids needed him, but I never told him that I did too.
After being on dialysis 6 and half years he got his transplant but did not recovered his full health and energy as he expected. He was home alone and I was working. I knew he was frustrated with the cards he was dealt and he felt disappointed at life for not being able to work or feel as he used to. Now that he is gone the memories we had together will keep him alive in my heart forever. I see fit to celebrate his life as he deserves to be remembered, as the generous human being that he was. He was generous to all my family and all of his friends and family, always joking around and certainly very loving, sweet and charming. I remembered the times we would walk on the streets and whenever he saw a homeless person, he would take his wallet out and give them money, always telling me “you shall give, to receive”.........
.......There is no doubt in my mind that he was my soulmate and our love for each other is ever present. Now that he is gone, I can clearly see how much I loved him as we endured difficult times and cherished the good memories of our life together. His sons loved his father and they have been a gift from heaven to both of us and for that I’m eternally grateful to him and the extended family I gained. God Bless you all for loving him as he deserved. I know he is looking down from heaven and is smiling right now because one of things he cherished the most was the company of his family and friends.
Now I truly understand that the biggest lesson I have learned from his passing is, to forgive and to let your loved ones know how you really feel, because you never know when you are going to lose them.
May he rest in peace and until we meet again “I love you”
Edited to omit names of family and friends for privacy purposes.